What Gift Grieving Parents Need
A very common question we hear is “My friend just lost her baby, what gift should I get her?”. With help from our friends from the Carolina Memorial sanctuary, we’ve compiled some of the things she is probably really wanting from you and doesn’t know how to ask.
Time- Give her time to process everything going on. Do not try and rush her or help her move on. She’ll NEVER ‘move on’. This is her reality now.
A Name: Say their baby’s name. What do they call their baby? Some families have time to have given their child a name, others use a nickname. Both are ok and neither are wrong.
Days: Write her baby’s birthday on your calendar and set milestone reminders (if you need to). 2 weeks, one month, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, a year, 2 years, 3 years, 4 years and forever. She will never forget the day her baby was born, make a meaningful impact and remember it with her.
Support: Be the person she wants to call when she’s having a really bad day. She needs someone who isn’t going to promise that someday she’ll feel better. Tell her that things suck right now, its not fair and you hate it all so much. Don’t sugar coat what she’s going through.
Some things to consider:
Things: Our instinct tells us to shower grieving friends with gifts, money or food. Food is very helpful in the first few days and weeks. Our suggestion is to send food that takes very little prep and is something that can be eaten in small quantities when the parents might not have a huge appetite. Gifts of money are more easily managed if the family has a memorial set up, please check with the funeral home!
Trinkets, keepsakes, sympathy flowers and jewelry are all items that loving friends and family members oftentimes gift to new parents. Sometimes the outpouring of gifts in the first few weeks can be very overwhelming. One recommendation we have is to wait and see what types of keepsakes the family is most interested in and buy them later. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Baby’s birthday and Christmas are some appropriate times to give these types of gifts.
Above all, thank you so much for being there when it matters the most.
Please reach out to us at any time, day or night if you or a loved one is experiencing pregnancy or infant loss.